My parents are weird.

Do you ever feel like someone is just sooooooo completely insane there is no way you're going to reason with them? Like, you may as well be reasoning with your dog's butt? I often feel that way about my father. That being said, the following is a conversation we just had online about Jon Stewart who I USED to find really attractive.

Please tell me the rest of you have these kinds of conversations with your parents. Also, when you reach the end please make a mental note of who won the argument.

Dad: i'm watching the daily show

Me: i love jon stewart. He’s funny

Dad: and he looks just like my father

Me: EEEEWWW NO HE DOESNT

Dad: o yes he does

Me: oh no he doesn’t
Me: was ur father a ridiculously hilarious jewish man? NO

Dad: I mean physically and you didn't see my father when he was about fifty and yes he probably was JEWISH

Me: OMG. what...the...hell?
Me: why do you and mom INSIST that we're jewish?

Dad: MOM? what does she has of jewish?
Dad: You know the last name Salvo is most probably Jewish origin

Me: mom thinks we're jewish because of the anemia and please don’t start with that last name bullshit. this is how u tried to convince me our last name is italian
Me: it’s not

Dad: but the main thing is that jon stewart looks JUST like my father
Dad: I’m looking at him. I know what I am talking about. Even your brother think so

Me: omg. That’s sick. you have totally ruined jon stewart for me now. thanks a lot.

Dad: you’re welcome. what do you have against my father?

Me: i dont have anything against him. i just don’t want to be attracted to him

Dad: oh come on you can't be attracted to jon stewart. he could be your grandpa

Me: no he can’t!
Me: how old do you think he is? or rather, how old do you think i am?

Dad: he must be in his sixties and you are just 23, so there you go he could be your grandpa

Me: HE'S NOT IN HIS 60S!!!!!!

Dad: how old do you think he is?

Me: omg, this conversation is so disturbing
Me: he's a lot younger than u dad, i'll tell u that much

Dad: Well he is about my age I think

Me: NO
Me: he was born in 1962
Me: he's a good 11 years younger than u

Dad: how do you know?

Me: i just looked it up

Dad: they lie about their ages all the time

Me: i cant believe u thought he was in his 60s
Me: omg, its not a lie! he's in his 40s
Me: and also, i dont wanna marry the guy. I’m just saying i used to find him a handsome man

Dad: he looks just as old as Willie Nelson that is on his show right now

Me: omg, either u r completely insane or ur blind
Me: I’m not kidding

Dad: Because he looks like your grandpa when he was young?

Me: 'when he was young' behind the operative phrase there

Dad: well, ok I'll give you that much