The Sickness Is Mine
There's this terrible thing about being sick that I think is possibly worse than the actual act of being sick: the fact that everyone you speak to immediately has some ridiculous solution to your ailment that you either already did or couldn't possibly care less about.
I'll give you a perfect example. This evening when I arrived for my 6:45 class, I found one of my co-workers outside smoking a cigarrette. Or rather, he had a lit cigarrette in his hand and a tissue held to his nose.
"What's the matter?" I said.
"My nose is bleeding," he said. And what was my reply?
"Oh, you have to hold your head back so that it stops bleeding."
Don't you just hate me right now? Cause I do. But, it's completely unavoidable. Your first instinct as a human is not to help the other person but merely to be right. As if you — and only you — know how to cure whatever it is that is wrong with this other person. Because, clearly, 'put your head back'? — that is some damn fine (and brand new) advice. He'd never heard that one before.
But, there's a part to this story that makes me a much worse and predictable person. I have this shitty cold and for the last couple of days, at least 4 or 5 times a day my students, my family, and my co-workers have been advising me on what I should and shouldn't do to help my cold. What they don't realize is that, in the end, it's a damn cold and it will go away on its own as long as I'm not running around naked in ice puddles. So, whatever they tell me I should buy (and trust me I already have a list of about 10 things that have been recommended to me) I'm not going to do it. There's a reason there is no cure for the common cold and that's because THERE'S NO CURE, PEOPLE! Doesn't matter if I stand on my head and recite the alphabet backwards while rubbing Vick's on my forehead, this shit will not go away until it wants to. That being said, I've had to drink at least 4 hot lemon waters with honey in the last two days. I'm too sick to argue anymore. Now I just smile and nod and tell everyone I'll go out right away and buy whatever dumbass thing they think will work. And then I run over to other sick people and tell them how to get rid of their hiccups and nosebleeds because, in the end, I'm only human folks. And, damn it, I want to be right all the time too.
Runny noses,
- E
I'll give you a perfect example. This evening when I arrived for my 6:45 class, I found one of my co-workers outside smoking a cigarrette. Or rather, he had a lit cigarrette in his hand and a tissue held to his nose.
"What's the matter?" I said.
"My nose is bleeding," he said. And what was my reply?
"Oh, you have to hold your head back so that it stops bleeding."
Don't you just hate me right now? Cause I do. But, it's completely unavoidable. Your first instinct as a human is not to help the other person but merely to be right. As if you — and only you — know how to cure whatever it is that is wrong with this other person. Because, clearly, 'put your head back'? — that is some damn fine (and brand new) advice. He'd never heard that one before.
But, there's a part to this story that makes me a much worse and predictable person. I have this shitty cold and for the last couple of days, at least 4 or 5 times a day my students, my family, and my co-workers have been advising me on what I should and shouldn't do to help my cold. What they don't realize is that, in the end, it's a damn cold and it will go away on its own as long as I'm not running around naked in ice puddles. So, whatever they tell me I should buy (and trust me I already have a list of about 10 things that have been recommended to me) I'm not going to do it. There's a reason there is no cure for the common cold and that's because THERE'S NO CURE, PEOPLE! Doesn't matter if I stand on my head and recite the alphabet backwards while rubbing Vick's on my forehead, this shit will not go away until it wants to. That being said, I've had to drink at least 4 hot lemon waters with honey in the last two days. I'm too sick to argue anymore. Now I just smile and nod and tell everyone I'll go out right away and buy whatever dumbass thing they think will work. And then I run over to other sick people and tell them how to get rid of their hiccups and nosebleeds because, in the end, I'm only human folks. And, damn it, I want to be right all the time too.
Runny noses,
- E
posted by Eugenia at 9:16 PM
1 Comments:
If you are clumsy, you should practice walking slowly.
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