Smartest People In The World

There's this really funny thing that happens everytime I tell someone that I was born in Chile but raised in the states. Invitably they're response is "But, you don't speak spanish like a 'gringa.'" That means I don't have a damn accent, or rather that I speak with a Chilean accent. I'm still unsure why this is SOOOOOO surprising to everyone, but regardless that's how it is. Then they kind of look at me like I must be really smart or some kind of language wizard because I can speak spanish like a human. That's kind of fun.

I'll tell you what's not fun: the people at my stupid cell phone company. The downside to speaking like a human is that I give off the appearance of having lived my whole life in Chile but in actuality I didn't. So, I probably understand about 60% of what anyone says at any given time. That's just reality. These people talk a lot of shit, so most of the stuff I understand in context and usually I assume that what I don't understand isn't very important. (Usually I'm right.) But, I can't do that when the cell phone company calls because I can't dismiss comments away with a gesture or a facial expression over the phone. But, I sound like I'm Chilean and I own a Chilean cell phone. Point is the moron cell phone people think I'm an idiot.

It happens like this: First they call me to offer me some ridiculous promotion or some stupid contest I don't want to be a part of, second I answer the phone because I think it might be someone from work calling me, third I spend the whole conversation going "WHAT?!" ("actually "QUE?!") while the cell phone guy says things like "a promotion. Do you know what a promotion is?!" at which point the guy fucking pisses me off and I say something along the lines of "you know what? I'm really busy and you're using up my cell phone minutes. I don't want it, whatever it is! BYE!" and I hang up.

This happens about once every other day. On the days that they don't call me they send me text messages to remind me I can refill my phone minutes anytime I want, as if that wasn't obvious.

So, if you're feeling adventurous take a gander at the smartest group of people in the world, also known as the folks at Movistar and if you are feeling particularly frisky, send them a complaint note and tell them to leave me the fuck alone. But do it eloquently please. I don't want to seem crass.

Loves,
E